Conflict Resolution

Whenever I think of conflict resolution I go back to my many hours of management training…watching “The Office”! There’s an episode where the manager, Michael Scott, takes the HR Manual and decides to resolve a major conflict in the office. Oscar and Angelia are in conflict over a poster that Angelia has up. It’s a picture of babies playing in a jazz band. Oscar finds it offensive and believes it should be taken down, however Angelia loves it and wants to see it every day. Michael steps in, being the great manager that he is, and decides to resolve this in one of the 6 models presented in the HR Manual. He chooses the Win, Win Win model, this is the one where all parties win including the moderator. He saves the day by making Oscar wear a t-shirt with the image on it so he doesn’t have to see it and Angelia can see it all day!

Conflict Resolution

While I would not suggest this as a model or resolution to issues like this in your area of influence, I would suggest taking on conflict resolution and confrontation with his intentionality in this episode. Generally speaking, people do not enjoy conflict or confrontation, however it is a necessary part of leadership.

While preparing for the Summit/Staff Days I have been reading through John Maxwell’s EQUIP teaching on “Leading When Times are Tough”. One of the topics challenges us on the fact that confrontation is biblical and gives multiple examples found in scripture. (II Corinthians 10:4-5; I Thessalonians 5:14; II Timothy 4:2-4; Colossians 1:28; Titus 1:13)

He states “your goal is to see them transformed by the power of God…not condemnation, but restoration”. Those we lead need to know that we love them, but need to know that we love truth more than anything!

I have taken a few of Maxwell’s Steps Toward Effective Confrontation and condensed them for you:

  1. Pray through your own anger and initiate the contact.
  • Don’t let emotion lead you. Wait until you’re objective, but deal with the issue             before they become too big.
  •  Don’t wait for them, scripture beckons you t make things right whether you are          the offender or the offended person.
  1. Explain what you have seen and/or heard and how you understand it.
  • Bring up the issue, and explain you don’t understand what’s happened.
  • The meeting may be more of a clarification than a confrontation. Give them the         benefit of the doubt and allow them to explain themselves.
  • It’s important to not attribute motives in this step, make this meeting a “fact                 finding meeting” initially.
  1. Listen and allow them to respond.
  • You must stop and allow them to respond. They may present a new perspective      that will help you both.
  • They may also throw up on you, listen anyway.
  1. Establish forgiveness and repentance, if necessary.
  • Connect the issue you are correcting with who they are in Christ. Don’t conclude       the meeting until forgiveness is extended and issues are clear and resolved.
  1. Pray and affirm you appreciation as you close your time together.
  •  Always close these times with prayer. Give them hope, and remind them od their     place in God’s heart and yours; help them never to question that they are loved.

Another good example of how to walk through confrontation is found in Ken Blanchard’s “The New One Minute Manager”. He calls it a One Minute Re-Direct and it breaks down like this:

  1. Re-Direct people as soon as possible.
  2. Confirm the facts first, and review the mistake together—be specific.
  3. Express how you feel about the mistake and it’s impact on results.
  4. Pause – be quiet for a moment to allow people time to feel concerned about what they’ve done.
  5. Remember to let them know that they’re better than their mistakes, and that you think well of them as a person.
  6. Remind them that you have confidence and trust in them, and support their success.
  7. Realize that when the Re-Direct is over, it’s over.

For me, one of the most powerful points of both of these methods for confrontation is the fact finding meeting. I am a leader that naturally assumes people’s motives and this step has helped me slow down and explain how I see the situation and ask what actually happened. Sometimes I have been right and me slowing down allowed the person to see their wrong doing and repent. Other times I have been wrong and it was a good thing I did not come into the meeting swinging and making accusations.

Confrontation is going to happen in any healthy organization and it certainly happens in Teen Challenge. I challenge you as leaders to be as intentional as possible when approaching these conversations. You have the opportunity to correct and build people up as an important part of the body of Christ or tear people down and leave them in your wake.

Article by: Dustin Nance, DL of Training & Hope Outreach

Rep’s Link – Oct 2015

Level I Adult

Our new course is Team Building and our text: 17 Essential Qualities of a Team Player by John Maxwell. In this course you will learn the personal characteristics necessary for becoming an effective team player. Maxwell outlines the success of team players who have been:

  • Intentional – making every action count toward a long-term goal
  • Relational – focused on others
  • Selfless – willing to take a subordinate role for the team
  • Tenacious – hardworking and optimistic in the face of setbacks

Level I Adolescent

Our course for the Adolescent track is Self-Leadership and our text: Habitudes I – the 51i+vfRPCtL._SY344_BO1,204,203,200_Art of Self-leadership  by Dr. Tim Elmore. We believe leadership is a 360-degree proposition. The leadership journey begins with self-leadership; we must lead ourselves before we lead anyone else.

 

Monthly Book Orders and Grades

Southeast region Rep’s can go to Google Drive and search for ELP Monthly Order Form and Grade Sheet Edited. Look for your center’s name in the tabs at the bottom and fill in your information. No need to save or email the spreadsheet (Google Drive saves it and we can access the info from my Drive). If you place an initial order on the form and update the order later (i.e. add 2 more books) after we have ordered your books, please send to me at andree.aiken@teenchallenge.cc. All new applications must be in by the 10th of the month for students starting the 15th.

Enrich Culture – Shifting the Values

I hope you took some time last month to reflect on “how things are going in your boat”… In that article we said that after prayer, the most important thing a leader can do is build a healthy culture for the teams they lead. Leaders must delegate a lot of things, but culture is not one of them. The leader is solely responsible for how healthy a team or ministry is. As a leader, being a “culture bearer” requires a shift in values, skills and allocation of time. For instance, as a staff member I should value being an effective contributor to the team and the mission. I do my part to enrich culture by embracing and embodying the Core Values and the TC DNA. I would be honing a particular skill such as teaching, counseling or computer skills. My time would be primarily allocated to working with students or in administration, completing my assigned tasks and responsibilities. As a leader, whether I’m leading a rally team, a work crew or a center, my values and skillset have to shift, as well as how I manage my time. It’s important what we value – we spend our time doing the things we value, and skills that are used without being instructed by values, aren’t done with much passion and creativity. So if I’m directing a center, and value making individual contributions such as counseling, I will probably pursue a degree in counseling and spend a lot of time counseling students. Instead, as a team leader, there has to be a shift – rather than valuing what I can contribute individually, I now value the success and contributions of others, I value the results of the whole team, I value the work and disciplines I need to do as a manager. This managerial skillset includes things like setting the culture, selecting the right people who are a fit for the culture, designing job descriptions, empowerment and delegation, performance evaluation and development, communication, building a cohesive team, and rewards and motivation. The book “The Leadership Pipeline” talks about this shift: “First-time managers need to learn how to reallocate their time so that they not only complete their assigned work but also help others perform effectively. They cannot allocate all of their time to putting out fires, seizing opportunities, and handling tasks themselves.” Putting out fires…yikes! Sounds like Teen Challenge! One of the challenges of leadership is slowing down the high speed train that we call Teen Challenge and valuing and spending time on the right things. Effective leaders and healthy organizations value an enriched culture and take the time to cultivate it. In the next 3 articles we’ll highlight 3 very practical areas in which a leader enriches culture: bringing the right people on the team, developing people, and building a cohesive team. In the meantime, assess how you allocate your time – how does it reflect what you value?

Article written by – Karissa Corpeny – Director of Corporate Training (TC Southeast)