Root and Fruit of Behavior

Last time I wrote about the importance of conflict resolution and how confrontation is going to happen. It’s a good thing if we’re intentional about it and treat people with love. The next step as a leader is to recognize that often times we are confronting a symptom to the real issue…an issue stemming from deep wounds of the heart.

I referenced a story at the ELP Summit & Staff Day, remember that man in Teen Challenge that was eating dinner after a long day of work and study reading his mail? The one that burst into a fit of rage upon opening a letter from his wife. Curse words, tables and chairs being tossed around angrily…picture that…it’s at that point as a leader we make a choice on how to best handle that person. Do you match their level of aggression and demand respect? Or do you ask yourself the important questions like; was the food just that bad? Did their football team lose? There is an obvious behavioral issue here, but what’s really going on? The important question to ask yourself is, what is going on inside that person and what does he need from me at this moment – confrontation or love?

He just received life altering news and doesn’t need confrontation, he needs your understanding and love. You can teach him how to respond to hard things and confront him on his behavior, but in that moment he needs to know nothing but that the Father loves him and sees his pain.

John Maxwell uses this diagram to show there are surface habits and behaviors that give us a window into the heart of the real issues at play. He argues that ultimately, it all stems from an issue with self-worth. If you believe you have no value, you will naturally find unhealthy ways to compensate for it.

I heard another story recently of a staff member who went to his leader and wanted to release a student that continued to have behavioral issues. The staff was very upset that the student would call himself a Christian and still cause the problems he was. The leader responded with a simple thought, “That’s why he’s here!” You see, we as leaders and stewards of this great call to give hope to hurting people, cannot be surprised when students don’t react as they should, or outbursts happen. It may demand more effort for us at that moment, but how you respond in those moments as a leader will speak to that student for years to come. Did you respond with love and understanding? Did you confront with love? Or did you throw a discipline at him and kick him out?

Don’t get me wrong, I am for boundaries and use them to guide and direct people towards a disciplined life before God on a regular basis. However, I would like to challenge us as leaders to always be mindful that discipline is only beneficial if it’s pointing people back to Christ. If not, we are training people to act right, not be right. That’s behavioral change and it only lasts for a short season. We want to be people that speak to the root of the issue and guide people towards healing and a life in Christ.

This week, identify that person who is a consistent source of conflict and diagnose the need. Do they need to be confronted? Or do they need to be loved on? As leaders we must rely on the Holy Spirit for discernment and wisdom to see these times as opportunities to guide someone towards Christ whether through healthy confrontation or blessing them.

Article by: Dustin Nance – Divisional Leader, Training and Hope Outreach – TCSE

ELP Highlight Nov 2015

Name: Matthew B. SampsonBryan Sampson

Age:  33

Hometown: Lexington, KY

Teen Challenge Center:  Central Florida Men’s.  I have been on staff for 6 months. I graduated in September 2014

My Testimony in Brief:   I let drugs and alcohol consume every aspect of my life. I let the ways of the world guide me on a path of destruction allowing me to feel no remorse for anyone. Jesus still loved me! He loved me so much that he died for it all, just so I could be reconciled to Him. Through His love I have been able to love others.

 The Purpose and Calling God has Given Me:  He has called me to bring people out of darkness, to be a testimony of his power and love. I will be working with Teen Challenge as I continue to grow and educate myself; becoming the best vessel for the Holy Spirit to operate through.

The ELP’s Impact on My Leadership:  The ELP program has brought what was once a timid, quiet voice and turned it into a lion! I’m now a leader who serves his fellow brothers and will do whatever he can to see them succeed, leading them to victory in Christ.

ELP Highlight – Sept 2015

Before coming to Teen Challenge I had no hope for my future and was bonded to a drug Bill Roberts nowaddiction I had no control over. I was sentenced to two years in prison and I finally realized how much I needed Jesus. Every night I would get on my knees and just cry out to God and He was listening. He delivered me from prison and opened the Teen Challenge doors. Being here God has shown me the love, peace and hope that could only come from Him.

I feel God has called me to participate in the Emerging Leaders Program to learn how to be obedient to the Holy Spirit and lead myself and others to Jesus. I’m not sure where exactly He is directing my life, but I am sure His presence will be with me giving me the strength I need on my journey!

 

ELP Rep’s Link – June 2015

Welcome

Over the last few months we’ve had a few changes in Rep’s within our region; we want to welcome new Rep’s  Danielle McKinney (Pen W), Todd Adams (Pen M), Frank Carbonell (Tallahassee), Sandra Marotta (Southwest FL W) and Rachel Olmeda (Lakeland). Welcome leaders! Thank you for answering the call to raise up sons and daughters on your campuses who know their identity in Christ, their purpose in life and are ready to serve the ministry and the Kingdom of God. Huge responsibility, but with the Holy Spirit’s guidance we can do it!

Level I Adult

This month is the beginning of  the core course cycle with Knowing and Understanding ExperiencingGodGod’s Will and our text: Experiencing God by Henry and Richard Blackaby and Claude King (ISBN # 978-1415858387). God is inviting us to experience Him in an intimate love relationship through which He reveals to us His will, His ways and His work. When you realize where God is working, you can join Him in what He is doing. You will have great discussions in your weekly ELP meetings in this 2-month course!

Level I Adolescent

Our course for the Adolescent track is Leading Others and our text: Habitudes #3 – TheHabitudes 3-FB  Art of Leading Others by Dr. Tim Elmore. The images Dr. Elmore provides are memorable and powerful in conveying key leadership principles. We want to communicate to our students that in the ELP leadership starts first with leading yourself well – then with connecting with others – and finally, we lead those in our care.

Monthly Book Orders and Grades

Southeast region Rep’s can go to Google Drive and search for ELP Monthly Order Form and Grade Sheet Edited. Look for your center’s name in the tabs at the bottom and fill in your information. No need to save or email the spreadsheet (Google Drive saves it and I can access the info from my Drive). If you place an initial order on the form and update the order later (i.e. add 2 more books) after we have ordered your books, please send Kerry Pevey (ELP Admin Asst) an email at kerry.pevey@teenchallenge.cc. All new applications must be in by the 10th of the month for students starting the 15th. Come on Reps, get your stuff in on time, I know you can do it!

3 Key Things to Remember in 2015

Christmas is such a great time to refresh ourselves in the story of Jesus’ birth in the gospels. The miracle of a virgin birth, a star and a stable, kings with gifts and dreams with
angels, shepherds in awe… You can’t stop reading but abruptly we’re thrust into Jesus adult life and His ministry here on earth. In the Matthew account, we end Chapter 2 with Jesus’ parents bringing him back to Nazareth after the death of Herod, and begin Chapter 3 with John the Baptist coming onto the scene and the baptism of Jesus, along with the most profound leadership lesson in the gospels. After Jesus is baptized by John, Matthew 3:17 says, “And a voice from heaven said, ‘This is my Son, whom I love, with him I am well pleased.’” Well pleased? Well pleased with what? Last we knew Jesus was a baby, and now He just comes out of nowhere and gets baptized – He hasn’t even done anything yet for His Father to be pleased with. But this one sentence is the foundation for all of Jesus’ ministry, and should be the foundation for our leadership journey. God the Father affirms Jesus in 3 ways:

1) You are mine

2) I love you

3) You don’t have to prove a thing, I already delight in you

Matthew Chapter 4 then leaves us with no fairy tale illusions about how ministry and leadership is going to be – no time for a honeymoon period here – the Spirit immediately leads Jesus into the wilderness for the famous 40 days of testing. Jesus was able to pass the test, and navigate through every earthly challenge, because He was assured in what His Father had told him – He knew who He belonged to, He didn’t doubt His Father’s love, and there was no pressure to get His Father’s approval because He already had it.

In your leadership journey you will encounter tests and challenges that seemingly so blindside you that you can’t imagine a loving Father would ever have allowed it. You will have times where you feel like an outsider, questioning if you really belong. Other people’s approval will be fickle – one day you’re a rockstar, and the next you’re just not ‘all that’. When we come to Christ, we have the same assurance:

1) We belong

2) We’re loved

3) God is pleased with us, there’s nothing to earn or prove

But, you say, of course Jesus was confident in what His Father had told Him, how could He possibly forget? Heaven flippin’ opened up and the Spirit descended like a dove and a voice came out of heaven! So that wasn’t your experience after you got baptized? Trust me, that still, small voice from heaven will say it again to you – and say it as many times as you need to hear it. Take heed to the voice of God, He will always prepare you for the journey by speaking these truths to you.

As you reflect on another Christmas gone by, it’s a perfect time of year to remember that freedom-in-christGod loved us so much, was so intent to redeem us to Himself, that He sent His only Son, our Savior. Just the fact that we accepted Christ’s sacrifice and asked Him to be Lord of our life pleases God’s heart to no end. Before you start sprinting into this new year, take time to recall when a voice from heaven has spoken these truths to you. If you can’t remember specific instances, if there’s any doubt, ask God to encounter you with these truths this year the same way He spoke them over His Son – that you are His, you are loved, and He is so pleased with you! Being rooted in our identify in Christ is the foundation for leadership that will finish the race!

Article Submitted by: Karissa Corpeny, Director of Corporate Training, TC Southeast

ELP Highlights

Hi, my name is Courtney Hooper, I’m from Houston, Texas and I’m currently attending Courtneythe Columbus Girls Academy in Seale, AL. Since coming here, God has brought me out of my life of darkness and emptiness. He’s given me such an overflow of His unending, perfect love and grace and I only desire to give Him my everything in return. God has definitely called me to ministry in Teen Challenge after I graduate, and although I’m not sure what that life will look like, I’m trusting Him to lead and guide me as He already has been. ELP has grown and challenged me in ways that have completely transformed my ideas on leadership. It’s shown me what an authentic leader looks like, and has given me the ability to walk more steadily in following Christ’s example, who proclaimed that a true leader is one that gives away their life for others.

 

ELP Rep’s Link – Sep 2014

Put it on your calendar to watch the next Revolutionized Leadership Webinar on Friday, Sept 19th at 10:30 am (EDT). I’ll send you an invite closer to the date.

Level I Adult 

This month we are starting one of my favorite courses Knowing and Understanding God’sExperiencingGod Will and our text is Experiencing God by Blackaby, Blackaby and King. God is inviting you to experience Him in an intimate love relationship through which He reveals to you His will, His ways, and His work. Through the biblical principles in this course, God can teach you how to:

  1. Know when He is speaking to you;
  2. Recognize His activity around you;
  3. Adjust your life to Him and His ways;
  4. Identify what He wants to do through you;
  5. Respond to His activity in your life.

Level I Adolescent

Our course for the Adolescent track is Discover Your God-given Purpose and our text: Chazown by Craig Groeschel. Chazown comes from the Hebrew word meaning a dream, revelation, or Vision. You were born with your own Chazown; do you know what it is?

Monthly Book Orders and Grades

Southeast region Rep’s can go to Google Drive and search for ELP Monthly Order Form and Grade Sheet Edited. Look for your center’s name in the tabs at the bottom and fill in your center’s information. No need to save or email the spreadsheet (Google Drive saves it and I can access the info from my Drive). If you place an initial order on the form and update the order later (i.e. add 2 more books) after we have ordered your books, please send me an email andree.aiken@teenchallenge.cc. Thank you.

ELP Testimonies

My name is Lauren Eisenberger, I’m 17 years old and I grew up in Rahway New Jersey. I Laurengraduated the Teen Challenge Yuchi girls program on July 19th, 2013. Growing up without a mother was hard for me and even though I had a good family, I eventually became rebellious and started to make wrong choices. Friends and partying became the highlight of my life. As my drug problem increased I was sent to two rehabs but both did not work. When I came to Teen Challenge, I was faced with a new type of love, Christ’s love. I was completely changed from the inside out by this love.

My purpose and calling now is serving in ministry as a missionary to Asia and Africa. Going through the ELP program is preparing me for this future in ministry. It has helped developed in me a joy to serve and has helped me understand what a true leader looks like.

 

Level II – July 2014

Congratulations

Congratulations Rob Helfer (Vero Beach) and Nick and Rachel Aylor (Southwest Florida)  for moving on to your electives!

Reminder

Remember to return the 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership DVD’s by July 31st. The cost to purchase a new DVD set is $299.99 (plus tax and shipping) and will be charged to your center if these are not returned.

Core Courses

Our core course this month is Conflict Management and our text: The Peacemaker by The Peacemaker PICKen Sande. Peacemakers are people who breathe grace. They draw continually on the goodness and power of Jesus Christ, and then they bring His love, mercy, forgiveness, strength, and wisdom to the conflicts of daily life. The emerging leader staff will learn to bring grace to conflict through Glorifying God, Getting the Log Out of Your Eye, Gently Restore and Go and Be Reconciled. The workbook for this course will be sent to you via email – look out for it. Your first post will be up on the forum on Monday, July 21st.

Leading Through Forgiveness and Grace

Mercy Said “No, I’m Not Gonna Let You Go!”

As I was thumbing through the Cross and the Switchblade I came across David Wilkerson’s encounter with Nicky Cruz. As Nicky threatened to kill David, he responds Girl sad“You could cut me in a thousand pieces and lay them out in the street and every piece would love you” (C&S, p. 72). David was willing to die so that Nicky could hear how much Jesus loves him and how much he (David) loves him. It reminds me of the song by CeCe Winan “Mercy said No, I’m not gonna let you go, I’m not gonna let you slip away, you don’t have to be afraid, Mercy said no, sin will never ever take control life and death stood face to face, darkness tried to steal my heart away, thank you Jesus, mercy said no.” As servant leaders we are motivated by love because we have experienced God’s mercy and grace and we want others to experience it as well. In Lead Like Jesus, Ken Blanchard asks the questions “Why is forgiveness important as an aspect of leadership?” “Because forgiveness is the way for a heart grounded in unconditional love of God to respond to the imperfections of others.” In Teen Challenge we have many opportunities to respond to the imperfections of others – by forgiving quickly, bringing correction in love and helping our students receive and move forward. “As leaders, the journey of forgiveness must start with us; when we don’t forgive we judge with a view to condemn but when we forgive, we bring correction and restoration” (Blanchard).

“I’ll never forget the day Elaine put her finger on the quality of the love that redeems. “I’ve finally got it figured out, Reverend Wilkerson, ” said the girl. “Christ’s love is a love with no strings attached.” Christ’s love is a love that asks nothing in return. It is a love that wants only the best for these boys and girls. And this is the quality that redeems.” (C&S, p. 165).

The Life of Christ Activates Grace in Us

At our ELP Rep’s retreat Greg Hammond spoke a message on the life of Christ activating grace in us. He said “The death of Christ secured grace for us but the life of Christ activates grace in us.” When Jesus is working in the students lives, they look less and less like the world and more and more like Christ. When our students understand their position in Christ all they want to do is His will and be like their Father – Abba Father. “So you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, “Abba Father.” (Rom 8:15). “Grace extends unrestrained fellowship to others in celebration of their inherent dignity as being made in God’s image and as the objects of His affection.”  – Ken Blanchard. Grace activated in our students helps them come alive to the love of Christ and the abundant life only He can give. “If we are going to enrich culture we need to connect our students to the reality of the gospel so they believe it and grace comes alive in them; they start to identify with their Father – they are no longer “self-conscious” but “son-conscious” (Hammond). As leaders, grace is activated in our relationship with the students when we are present for Girls Talkingthem, when we accept that we are limited and allow the power of the Holy Spirit to come in and bring life and light in their situation.

In what ways does the Holy Spirit want to extend forgiveness and grace in your relationships with those you lead?

“If students learn to see this grace activated in them wherever they go, the knowledge of the Lord will fill that part of the world because of His son or daughter; their feet will be shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace, they’ll preach glad tidings of great joy and help fulfill their Father’s legacy and their Father’s dream – that the glory of Jesus fill all the earth.”~ Greg Hammond.