Root and Fruit of Behavior

Last time I wrote about the importance of conflict resolution and how confrontation is going to happen. It’s a good thing if we’re intentional about it and treat people with love. The next step as a leader is to recognize that often times we are confronting a symptom to the real issue…an issue stemming from deep wounds of the heart.

I referenced a story at the ELP Summit & Staff Day, remember that man in Teen Challenge that was eating dinner after a long day of work and study reading his mail? The one that burst into a fit of rage upon opening a letter from his wife. Curse words, tables and chairs being tossed around angrily…picture that…it’s at that point as a leader we make a choice on how to best handle that person. Do you match their level of aggression and demand respect? Or do you ask yourself the important questions like; was the food just that bad? Did their football team lose? There is an obvious behavioral issue here, but what’s really going on? The important question to ask yourself is, what is going on inside that person and what does he need from me at this moment – confrontation or love?

He just received life altering news and doesn’t need confrontation, he needs your understanding and love. You can teach him how to respond to hard things and confront him on his behavior, but in that moment he needs to know nothing but that the Father loves him and sees his pain.

John Maxwell uses this diagram to show there are surface habits and behaviors that give us a window into the heart of the real issues at play. He argues that ultimately, it all stems from an issue with self-worth. If you believe you have no value, you will naturally find unhealthy ways to compensate for it.

I heard another story recently of a staff member who went to his leader and wanted to release a student that continued to have behavioral issues. The staff was very upset that the student would call himself a Christian and still cause the problems he was. The leader responded with a simple thought, “That’s why he’s here!” You see, we as leaders and stewards of this great call to give hope to hurting people, cannot be surprised when students don’t react as they should, or outbursts happen. It may demand more effort for us at that moment, but how you respond in those moments as a leader will speak to that student for years to come. Did you respond with love and understanding? Did you confront with love? Or did you throw a discipline at him and kick him out?

Don’t get me wrong, I am for boundaries and use them to guide and direct people towards a disciplined life before God on a regular basis. However, I would like to challenge us as leaders to always be mindful that discipline is only beneficial if it’s pointing people back to Christ. If not, we are training people to act right, not be right. That’s behavioral change and it only lasts for a short season. We want to be people that speak to the root of the issue and guide people towards healing and a life in Christ.

This week, identify that person who is a consistent source of conflict and diagnose the need. Do they need to be confronted? Or do they need to be loved on? As leaders we must rely on the Holy Spirit for discernment and wisdom to see these times as opportunities to guide someone towards Christ whether through healthy confrontation or blessing them.

Article by: Dustin Nance – Divisional Leader, Training and Hope Outreach – TCSE

Rep’s Link – Jul 2016

Welcome

This month we welcome Sharon Varasse as the ELP Rep for the Emerging Leaders College. Sharon is a TC graduate of Women at the Well and a recent graduate of ELC. Welcome Sharon! Thanks for answering the call of God to raise up the next generation of leaders!

Level I Adult

This month we start our new course Team Building and our text: The 17 Essential Qualities of a Team Player by John Maxwell. Maxwell presents a clear analysis of the personal characteristics necessary for becoming an effective team player. He outlines the success of team players who have been Intentional – making every action count toward a long-term goal. Relational – focused on others. Selfless – willing to take a subordinate role for the sake of the team. Tenacious – hardworking and optimistic in the face of setbacks. Your emerging student leaders will learn a lot about working with a team from this course.

Level I Adolescent

Our course for the Adolescent track is Servant Leadership and our text: Help, I am a Student Leader by Doug Fields. Although this book is set in the context of a youth ministry, our emerging leaders will learn how Jesus led others and figure out how to be more helpful to everyone. They’ll discover the secrets of getting others involved, learn how to listen better and deepen their own faith as a young leader.

Monthly Book Orders and Grades

Southeast region Rep’s can go to Google Drive and search for ELP Monthly Order Form and Grade Sheet Edited. Look for your center’s name in the tabs at the bottom and fill in your information. No need to save or email the spreadsheet (Google Drive saves it and we can access the info from my Drive). If you place an initial order on the form and update the order later (i.e. add 2 more books) after we have ordered your books, please send and email to andree.aiken@teenchallenge.cc. All new applications must be in by the 10th of the month for students starting the 15th.

ELP Rep’s Link – Jan 2016

Welcome

Happy New Year everyone!!! We welcome new Rep’s Chris Massieu (Southwest FL Men’s), Lynne Shewman (Pensacola W) and Elizabeth Price (Columbus W)! Thank you for committing to raise up the next generation of leaders in Teen Challenge.

Level I Adult

Our new course is Boundaries and our text: Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud. This course is designed to help the participant learn how to have proper boundaries in their lives.  Having clear boundaries is essential to a healthy, balanced lifestyle.  A boundary is a personal property line that marks those things for which we are responsible.  Boundaries define who we are and are not. Remember this is a 2-month course.

 

Level I Adolescent

Our course for the Adolescent track is Servant Leadership and our text: Help! I’m a Student Leader by Doug Fields. This book serves to help student leaders embrace the opportunity that, as a student, you can also be a leader. This book introduces servant-leadership, talks about the heart of a servant, gives practical tips on the attitudes and actions of a servant-leader, and provides guidance to your unique leadership role – not just in Teen Challenge but in every area of your world in which you have influence.

Monthly Book Orders and Grades

Southeast region Rep’s can go to Google Drive and search for ELP Monthly Order Form and Grade Sheet Edited. Look for your center’s name in the tabs at the bottom and fill in your information. No need to save or email the spreadsheet (Google Drive saves it and we can access the info from my Drive). If you place an initial order on the form and update the order later (i.e. add 2 more books) after we have ordered your books, please send to me at andree.aiken@teenchallenge.cc. All new applications must be in by the 10th of the month for students starting the 15th.

 

Rep’s Link – July 2015

Welcome

This month we welcome three new Rep’s –  Isaac Wagner (Vero Beach), Dale Peter (Women at the Well) and Amanda Taylor (Director) at Hosanna House! Isaac graduated Vero Beach June 2012, graduated the Emerging Leaders College last month and was hired on as staff at Vero Beach. Dale entered Teen Challenge in Ft Myers, Florida September 2012; transferred to Women at the Well 2013 and graduated 2014 and was hired on staff January of this year.  Amanda Taylor is a veteran ELP’er – graduated Columbus W in 2007, graduated TCIMI Jacksonville 2008, served at Pen W & Col W as ELP Rep and is now the Director and ELP Rep for the adolescents at Hosanna House. Welcome Rep’s! You are all products of the emerging leaders program and I know you will raise up sons and daughters (gen-next) to sustain TC for the next 50 years to come.

Level I Adult

This month we continue with our core course Knowing and Understanding ExperiencingGodGod’s Will and our text: Experiencing God by Henry and Richard Blackaby and Claude King. Your students should be at the mid-point in their books so continue to press in with them. Have you considered doing an activity that will allow you and your students to experience God at new levels at your weekly meeting? When I did this course with a few ladies at Admin, we went for a prayer walk by the River walk. It was a beautiful setting to experience God with them. At the end of the time, we placed memorial stones at a tree – our commitment to continue grow in Experiencing God.

Level I Adolescent

Our course for the Adolescent track is Servant Leadership and our text: Help! I’m a Student Leader  by Doug Fields. Our text is set in the atmosphere of a youth ministry, but gives practical leadership lessons to help students lead like Jesus, figure out how to be more helpful, listen more, getting others involved and deepen their faith.

Monthly Book Orders and Grades

Southeast region Rep’s can go to Google Drive and search for ELP Monthly Order Form and Grade Sheet Edited. Look for your center’s name in the tabs at the bottom and fill in your information. No need to save or email the spreadsheet (Google Drive saves it and we can access the info from my Drive). If you place an initial order on the form and update the order later (i.e. add 2 more books) after we have ordered your books, please send Kerry Pevey (ELP Admin Asst) an email at kerry.pevey@teenchallenge.cc. All new applications must be in by the 10th of the month for students starting the 15th. Come on Reps, get your stuff in on time, I know you can do it!

Rep’s Link – Aug 2014

Put it on your calendar to watch the next Revolutionized Leadership Webinar on Friday, Aug 15th at 10:30 am (EDT) via Google Hangouts on Air. You don’t need a Google account to tune in. I’ll send you an invite closer to the date.

Level I Adult 

This month we are continuing with the course Boundaries by Dr. Henry boundariesCloud. By now your emerging leaders are learning some vital lessons about boundaries. What is one way you can help your emerging leaders set proper boundaries this week?

Level I Adolescent

Our course for the Adolescent track is Servant Leadership and our text: Help, I’m a Student Leader by Doug Fields. Although this book is set in the context of a church youth group, the leadership principles can be applied anywhere. In this book your emerging leaders will learn:

  1. How Jesus led others
  2. Figure out how to be more helpful to others
  3. Discover the secrets of getting others involved
  4. How to listen better
  5. And, Deepen their faith by helping others

Monthly Book Orders and Grades

Southeast region Rep’s can go to Google Drive and search for ELP Monthly Order Form and Grade Sheet Edited. Look for your center’s name in the tabs at the bottom and fill in your center’s information. No need to save or email the spreadsheet (Google Drive saves it and I can access the info from my Drive). If you place an initial order on the form and update the order later (i.e. add 2 more books) after we have ordered your books, please send me an email andree.aiken@teenchallenge.cc. Thank you.